Gary’s Gallup(ing) Poll

Recently one of our faithful readers asked how we think Gary would rate himself. To which, objectively, one might respond:

Our humble (hah!) commish rate himself? Rating one’s self “is a funny thing.” He’s tried various permutations for the betterment of the sport (glowing puck); brought salary in line with revenues (lost a season), adjusted the rules (confused the refs), expanded markets (Phoenix, Florida, and Nashville), and practiced creative brokering for sales of teams (Nashville and Minnesota). Now, one’s view of the positive or negative implications for these accomplishments would depend upon one’s knowledge of the game and general intellect. Obviously, both of these attributes are not in the possession of the commissioner who uses his lower orifice for speech. No doubt the diminutive dimwit sees himself as the Second Coming while hockey fans are hoping for the First Going. This individual doesn’t warrant a grade; just simple expulsion.

How would you grade the nefarious Napoleonic nincompoop? A+? C-? E?Order Geodon
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Related Posts:
·  Gary’s Upside Down World
·  Charter killing Gary’s VS.
·  Gary’s Almost-Stars Game
·  Don’t Bet(t) on it…

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16 Responses to “Gary’s Gallup(ing) Poll”


  1. 1 cragar77 Sep 1st, 2008 at 9:02 am

    How about a generous D-. He’s tried to expand the game but way to quickly. Now though with the Boots Del Baggio incident and keeping Ballsillie out of the league, it’s time for him to go back to the NBA.

  2. 2 Sens Fan Sep 1st, 2008 at 11:39 am

    cragar77 writes

    “Now though with the Boots Del Baggio incident and keeping Ballsillie out of the league, it’s time for him to go back to the NBA.”

    I’ve got a much better idea, put Bettman on trial, convict him on fraud and other charges, LOCK HIM UP & THROW AWAY THE KEY

  3. 3 blob Sep 2nd, 2008 at 12:18 am

    i was ready to give the guy a C- until the finals, because the season and playoff games had been great to watch in spite of allthe bullshit going on in the background, but those last 6 games were so much a cindy crosby lovefest and refereeing nonsense that i had to downgrade him to a D. i mean, how hard can you try to give the cup to a lesser team before someone exposes you as a fraud?

  4. 4 Rusty Wheeler Sep 3rd, 2008 at 11:16 am

    I used to be a die-hard hockey fan, but Gary Bettman has totally destroyed that. I can’t stand to watch the NHL any more. I’m in the Detroit area and I couldn’t even get enthused about the Red Wings winning the Stanley Cup.

    Instead, I have discovered modern women’s flat-track roller derby. It’s an amateur sport, skated by the gals for the love of the game. The derby skaters are actually allowed to hit each other, even to knock each other down! In short, derby is everything that Gary Bettman’s NHL is not. What’s more, derby skaters can celebrate good plays and not get penalized like in the NFL.

    I suggest that all disaffected former hockey fans should go and check out a local roller derby game as the league’s are all over the USA (and Canada!). Check out www.wftda.com for a league near you!

    Rusty Wheeler
    Detroit Derby Girls

  5. 5 Rusty Wheeler Sep 3rd, 2008 at 11:29 am

    One more thing…

    If I’m at home on a Saturday night, I tune into CBC around 7:40pm just to watch Coach’s Corner with Don Cherry. As soon as that is over, I turn off the TV again as it is sheer torture trying to watch the “new” NHL.

    I have to also say I was a former amateur hockey goalie and I would not have tolerated the idiotic “trapezoid” rule. I’d still go to the corner to play the puck when appropriate. I really wish the NHL goalies would all make a deal to get 100 penalties (each) in each game by going to the corner to play the puck. The league would have to scrap the rule!

    Rusty Wheeler

  6. 6 biscuit basher Sep 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 pm

    Rust-Bud, Please oh, please don’t let the mental midget win. I share your disgust but am fighting Butthead on boards like this so someday someone somehow will see the light and dump dickweed. You played as a goalie and watch Ron and Don? That speaks volumes about the impact the little twerp has had on REAL hockey fans. I’m gonna stick up for you and fight the good fight. Can’t let him win. No way will I let him. Please join us back here from time to time to keep the pressure on.

    (BTW, them chicks wear skimpy outfits?)

    yer bud,
    Biscuit

  7. 7 Rusty Wheeler Sep 4th, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Derby skaters have to wear helmets, elbow, wrist, & knee pads, and mouthguards. Some sksters are more risque than others, although I do look at the skaters as athletes. But you can also see derby skaters faces, something that has gotten harder to do with hockey what with all the visors.

    And of course I watch Don & Ron on Coach’s Corner, even if I was a goalie! Hey, goalies are hockey players too, which is why I don’t like the NHL trying to limit the goalies being able to skate to the corner to play a loose puck. Why penalize teams who have good skating goalies (although I would believe any goalie who makes it to the NHL has to be an exceptional skater these days).

    Check out some derby pictures online at http://www.flickr.com/photos/colinj/collections/72157601664068043/. There’s also lots of video on YouTube, although small videos on YouTube don’t give you any sense of how fast the derby gals are skating. It’s best to go to a live game and sit up close to the track.

    And speaking of YouTube, I’m glad many Coach’s Corners are on there.

    Rusty Wheeler
    Don Cherry for NHL President!

  8. 8 Sens Fan Sep 4th, 2008 at 12:37 pm

    Hey Rusty, I don’t know what flat-track roller derby is (although I could learn about it) but I’m sure it is more hard hitting than today’s NHL. I don’t like how the NHL (Butthead) puts a trapezoid on the ice to limit where goalies can play the puck either. (I’m sure millions of hockey fans will agree on that as well)

    As biscuitbasher was saying, come back here from time to time to keep the pressure on and if you want to bash Bettman and his team of cronies (pricks) you have come to the right place. By the way, Don Cherry would be an excellent choice to be the new boss of the NHL & it’s excellent to know that there are lots of Coach’s Corner on YouTube. Let’s all hope Bettman is gone sooner rather than later.

    Sens Fan

  9. 9 Flamer Sep 6th, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    I no longer watch nor am I interested in the NHL. I do not go to games and Bettman deserves an ‘F’ even though pundits would give him a B. I enjoy minor hockey and I can’t be bothered reading or listening on anything about the NHL. A lot of complacency and mediocrity among friends who complain ad nauseum about Bettman but still support the NHL and go to the games. That’s fine. For me, I stay away and if asked, tell others I can’t be bothered with a narcissist serving his own self interests other then fans and the sport. Notice with Panthers this year they don’t play teams like Flames and Oilers anyway so how can this sport grow in the Sunbelt when potential fans can’t see all the talent this league has to offer. How third rate is that?

    Go ask and challenge the narcissist as to why that is the case.Glad IIHF and Europeans/Russians are enjoying this and are intelligent enough not to have a pro league with him involved. I may return when he is gone but I love the mute button on my TV that I don’t have to hear about it or minor sports networks in Canada subsidized by taxpayers telling people how wonderful the league and Bettman is . Bring in Dick Pound and boot out the narcie Bettman, a more sensible choice with a man with a track record who can grow a sports league and negotiate media deals.

  10. 10 Forklift Sep 8th, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    Gee, I think you’re being a little hard on the Beaver…

    http://hockeenight.com/categories/Leave It To Bettman.aspx

  11. 11 Laertes Sep 16th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    I hear Vegas and KC maybe coming aboard soon. Bettman might be trying to commit an Enron, a Fannie Mae, or Freddie Mac and destroy the NHL while being handed a golden parachute. So much for the fans.

  12. 12 Sens Fan Sep 17th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Laertes wrote,

    “I hear Vegas and KC maybe coming aboard soon. Bettman might be trying to commit an Enron, a Fannie Mae, or Freddie Mac and destroy the NHL while being handed a golden parachute.”

    This bull from Bettman and his cronies has been going on for over 15 years.

    Hopefully the Democrats take control of the White House and it’s about high time that a team of prosecutors put a stop to this bull shit… Mr. Bettman and his cronies are placed on trial, convicted, and put in jail for a very long time for the way Bettman and his team of numbnuts have been (still are) ruining the league.

    Let’s hope that Bettman and all his cronies are gone soon.

  13. 13 James Sep 18th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Hi, I found your blog on this new directory of WordPress Blogs at blackhatbootcamp.com/listofwordpressblogs. I dont know how your blog came up, must have been a typo, i duno. Anyways, I just clicked it and here I am. Your blog looks good. Have a nice day. James.

  14. 14 Sens Fan Sep 27th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    Hey JB & Puckhead, how come there hasn’t been any new posts lately?

  15. 15 Brad G Oct 1st, 2008 at 7:48 am

    Gary gets an A as the first graduate of the remedial Commissioner program. He lead the way for Bush and Palin, from the remedial President and VP programs.

    I have seen special needs kids with more aptitude and awareness of their social situation. Does he have Asbergers, I mean really, did you see those 5 minute speeches when the guys are waiting for the cup. He is totally an idiot.

    Let’s see, here is a quick summary,
    - he lets his cronies Wirtz and Jacobs ruin two viable US hockey markets by incompetence and tight fistedness
    - he expanded to regions where ice is for drinks, they lose money,
    - holds the league hostage for a year to get a salary cap to save those franchises, those same franchises lose money,
    - he refuses entry into the ownership group from a true hockey fan Jim Balsillie and gets in bed with two convicts in LA and Nashville,
    - he changes the game to stifle creativity and then changes it back
    - it seems that the rules are moving back to pre Bettman days, the NHL should just go the whole way

    I wish one of the stupid cronies had the cajones on TV to ask him.

    Gary, your plan to grow a national television audience by expanding based on geographic position rather than local hockey following, how’s that working out for ya?

  16. 16 Fauxrumors Oct 3rd, 2008 at 9:48 am

    1) Brad: Maybe we should send Obama and his “57 states”, and Biden and his 1929 television viewing to these remedial President and VP programs? ; )

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